My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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