My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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