normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
