im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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