32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
