Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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