I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
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