I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
