I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So squirting runs in the family.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
