Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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