If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
