she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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