when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize