oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
