I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
