Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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