Its about making memories worth repressing
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
