cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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