How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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