It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Everclear isn't food dammit
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
