she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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