I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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