Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
