I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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