Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
