It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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