i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
