Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize