do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
