Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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