I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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