how can u be prego again
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
