the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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