Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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