She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
