its not stalking. its research.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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