I want to make a zoo with you.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
