just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize