I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
