well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
