He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
