Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
