We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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