My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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