Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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