Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
