call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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