no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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