is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
