Its about making memories worth repressing
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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