Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
