I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize