Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
