apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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