you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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