Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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