You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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