I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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