so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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