their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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