I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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