I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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