Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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